the worst thing is I know its my fault and I hate myself for it. I unlearned functioning in social settings and did a lot of work in private to “fix” the most important things. But at some point you have to take the work out into the real world. And I guess it’s kind of like with pancakes, the first go to shit because they fall apart in the pan - but you can still eat them, you’ll just probably eat them last.
Failure was inevitable and I am so fucking sorry for putting my burdens and problems on you of all people. You have a heart of gold and I know it since the beginning. Please let me fix this